Since my brain function very well at night, I came out with this schedule for next semester.

Weekdays

6am-5pm = College (just an estimation)

5pm-3am = Sleep

3am-6am = Study, assignments, etc

Weekends

11pm-7am = Work

7am-5pm = Free

5pm-10pm = Sleep

In weekends, I will have Sunday free so I can rest and change my biological clock to fit for weekdays. Hopefully this schedule can improve my grades. I'm aiming at least 3.25 minimum next semester. Hope I can do it, brace yourself Donovan xD

Anyway, only a handful of people came to help. We had a meeting and everyone was like blaming me for the fact that I was the cause of the downfall for Rovers. I really was the downfall but own scouts was part of the downfall too. I really tried my best to redeem my mistakes but I have my limits of what I can give too. I tried convincing myself that it's over, I even wanted to quit. I can't stand the fact that it was really my fault. It's like you done something wrong, you must leave. You must. I love scouting too much, I stayed around only because of Boo Leong. He once said to me, "All our hardwork is there and it's sad that every year we are losing more and more people. We are not asking for much, we just want you all to just stick around and contribute a bit. You gain the knowledge and all, then you leave, is that fair?". I stayed because of those words. Boo Leong and us went way back, under direct training and scolding during his era where he was still very very strict. Now slack a bit =D

Anyhow, after today, I was reconsidering my early retirement in the society. I feel I'm more of the hindering between than a asset. Less a people would make the place running but weirdly enough because of one person, the whole group fall during the start.

I went to my friends and informed them regarding this matter. My friend obviously tried to persuade me to not give up and fight for an appeal. But, there's really nothing I could do or want to do. My results is getting worst due to my attendance. Instead of getting better, it's getting much more worst.

Ever believe that when my 2 friends were deciding to quit, I manage to convince them to not do so? I'm in a much worst position than them. One of my friend, 24, wanted to quit due to subject getting harder and another, already married, was going to move out to KL with his family. They had a choice so I convince them so. My case, failing a subject is a major impact, whether it's barred or not. I still probably couldn't pass the subjects anyway. I have 5 subjects and probably fail 3 of them.

Rumour also went around, "Donovan is always late on Mondays, either that or never around". That's because I'm so freaking tired on weekends. I work nightshifts and remain active on days. I couldn't have time to rest nor sleep. But I actually do have time, I don't know why I chose not to. My friends just ask me to stop and I couldn't give them a clear answer. I don't need the money nor do I need to do anything on weekends. I just couldn't let go of all this.....

I tried my best to put a smiling face but in deep, I hold grudges. I recently always fight with my best friend Kumaran. I believed he changed to be the more arrogant person than before. Everything went so freaking well and all down in one go. I'm always having problems, whether it's sick, injury, sleepy, etc. I'm aging so fast I believe and I can't keep track to it. I'm also tired of fighting for rights, unfairness and shit. I even fought with one of my lecturer for being so unfair. Indirectly I believe that's why I don't come to class often. But for that lecturer's class, it's the same shit day by day, believe me, I asked.

I gonna have a long semester break and I decided to take that time and change. But I know one thing, people and closeness will bring me down. If I ever do change, it's finally for myself. I imagine the life I gonna face, a time of emptiness, always busy, away from everyone and arrogant. That's the only way I can be the better person. I have no choice...........

My talent? Shooting, speed and chasing. That's what I got when they evaluate me. Shooting was by Sherwynd though. It's been 4 months since I started, I went for about 5-6 trainings, played 7 games and scored 6 goals so far. More coming soon!