See you online in a month time!

We were up against Spearheads, a weaker team than us but over confidence got the most out of them. I deliver yet another goal, delivering a good 180 degrees shot and that's first blood. Then we lost 2 goals for being over confidence and dribbling right in front of our goal post. We could have won. Our second match was upright tough, facing against Snake FC, consist of a few National players. That's something impossible to win. We had no chance. That's the end of the story.

Then I walked around finding for friends because there's really nothing to see for floorball. The court is too small and I can't say it's floorball anymore. Some other game, involving hitting the ball only. So, I walked around minding my own business. Karrtik came later and first thing he ask is where my girlfriend. I had to pretend all the way and tried to change topic everytime he remembers. We are good pretenders xD

After Youth Wave, I got home and slept. It was so tiring. Woke up at 7.30 and joined my manager, Alex, for dinner. It was delicious xD We talked about stuff and all. Nice guy. I close my eyes now thinking when will I have time to worship my own religion again.

Anyway, to be frank, I can't take losing too easily. I don't know why, I don't know how to stop it. I wish to change that. I no need to go therapy as long as you're there xD

Thanks for reading xD

I trained so hard, even went for team 1's training and stamina building. The least you could do is right a better accurate review than this. At first, I entered floorball without a knowledge of whatsoever and with one true aim, to help out Firebrands, last placing in last year's division 2 game. I brought in my cousin and his friend, Samuel but right now due to some problem, Sherwynd (cousin) and Samuel is about to leave because of the officials. When we move in as free agents, I was drafted to the 2nd team due to I have never played before. Even with the experiences of playing a even tougher similiar game like hockey.

When time comes, my aim changes but my loyalty was towards my coach Jason and my manager Alex rather than the first team's captain, which is simply involved for don't know what reason. And then I wanted to excel in this sports, to prove someone that I'm worthy of something. Because of that, I can say that my pride was tested. Being one of the oldest in second team, I kept my mouth shut about my age only to be stepped on young people, some even without any authority. But I still plan to keep my age aside. And I felt for the 2 division games I played, I played the best and even better than the rest. Even got complimented by Jason and Bryan proclaim me as the best and our blog gave me a great review. Still, I wanted to show that certain someone and I failed miserably.

Now I felt that I did all this not for that aim anymore but to that certain someone. Yes, I failed eventhough I proved worthy towards my sponsor, Sherwynd and Bryan who requested my help. Still, that wasn't enough cause I need to be seen big to show and prove to that someone. Sometimes I blame the lack of training the team gives. Team 2 practically had no training at all so I don't even know who and who is in my team. I was always the only person from the team to go training in first team. I tried my best and why can't people understand that? What I don't get was that I just recently played and you put such expectation on me, I achieved what you expect from me but yet you criticized me. As you can see from the previous post, I play solo. That was what I was taught from Jason.

When the team lose the first round, I said it was well deserved for my own team. I only had like 2 trainings with them and I never missed training since I entered. There were lack in almost every expect. To avoid that repeating, I trained myself in dribbling and shooting, totally neglecting defense's skill. I was branded as selfish and lucky eventhough I did it for the team. I trained my shots so hard that I injured my wrist and the team didn't thank me for that. Some were probably jealous since they played slightly longer than me. And to own team mates, they even played rough eventhough it was training. Haix......

Also, I'm rushing things cause my legs are like a time bomb, waiting to explode any time soon. I checked out with some friends and they say it might be a really serious injury and I'm only holding on to the real actual pain. Just like expected, I'm really growing old or sick. It should be that time in the year to get sick since it's been so long since I actually really fall ill.

Anyway, college started and it felt so good. The subjects I'm taking is so different and what I really wanted. The college changed a lot in 2 months, looks like years since I was last here. The first 2 classes was great. I hope I can do better. I'm planning to aim for 4.0 GPA for at least 2 subjects. Hopefully by that, I can get a good CGPA.

Thanks for reading,

Yeah, my team are newbies mostly so winning any match is a crucial thing. We lost badly in our debut but that's an experience I can never forget. I came so late and during the match, I felt like vomiting again. Maybe it's because I'm nervous again. I'm expected to score more goals this time so I think that's why I was nervous.

This being my 3rd match (2 league games & 1 friendly), I scored 4 goals which is a great achievement to me. Something I can be proud of again cause I was never too good in sports. Some people think I show off cause I played solo a lot. Can't blame them for thinking so but I felt this is for the team. I do solo cause it's an option and a chance you shouldn't miss. For goodness reason, if you are at a scoring position, obviously the right thing to do is shoot! I mean, I don't pass much to my team members cause I'm playing as a striker. Who am I to pass if I'm in front of everyone?? Reason being so simple, even if there is someone, I usually have an open shot directly to the keeper and my team mates are really bad in standing at the right place. I mean, I can't risk that, you weren't open, in fact, they are always guarded. And they just stand there, expecting me to pass to them. I vote for no confidence.

I even almost cried that day, being reason that all I tried went in vain. I guess I got into the game already. So, continue where I dropped off. I came late so warm out was really bad. I played with Trailblazers, a team predicted to beat us. My team was over confidence, no doubt. Before the game, everyone was saying that we will win. Seriously, if they play it off like the last match, no chance at all. During the first few minutes, a girl tripped me with her stick and hit my leg from between. Awfully pain.

I started limping for a bit but I carried on. Then a substitution was made, seriously a stupid substitution that I cannot forgive. I was already at the opponent's side, taking a free shot. I didn't hear the substitution and the referee asked me to play. I mean, it's no big deal that I ask the coach to wait since we are in the winning position. He got mad and after the free shot, I quickly went back and ask them to quickly make the substitution. My coach got furious of me, yes, my mistake but I don't see the big deal of it. Then when I got replaced, he accuse me of influencing other players not to accept the substitution like I did. I mean, we are in a hurry to use our free shot and I have to favour what the referee request, to shoot and I was at one end, is that the time to make substitution on an on-going game? When he scolded me, I scolded him back. He already has a history of hot tempered. I nearly wanted to taking it all out when my manager stopped me. I risk another penalty before that for incorrect substitution so I don't want to get it again.

He said that his the coach and I can't take him down even though I can explain. I was furious cause of his accusation of influence. I mean, from nowhere you accuse me for influence when I don't really talk much with my own member. Alex (manager) and Nehemiah tried to chill me. Weren't for Alex, I would already whack him. My coach is the captain for the first team and he haven't shown one bit of respect to his member and he ain't getting it from me in this state. Damn, he didn't even train us properly. Some basic drills, no strategy talk until the day of the match, no practice on the strategy applied, strategy applied not fit for our the second team's style of playing. He asked the defenders to push up to the middle. Then the opponent was directly in front of the keeper. Luckily they didn't score.

I really lost my cool that time so I did what I do best, put the anger on something. And I put my anger in the game, scored another goal. Again I was spotted by Bryan which told me that my goal was out of anger, again. It kept me thinking of whether I want to continue as a Firebrands player. Since my coach (1st team), Jason, is going to leave, me and Bryan agreed that Firebrands cannot teach us anymore. And the best thing we could do is join Jason in his team, Frontliners, temporary under loan. That way when we come back, it will be for a major tournament in December. I talked to Sherwynd about this and he ask me to join Frontliners permanently. Well, it's not really up to me to choose. Bryan has indeed shown signs, I mean, he is awesome as a goalie but what's the point playing under weak team?

College is about to start and I have to focus more on college rather than floorball. Jason is going and I'm stuck with my second team coach which I'm not in a good relation with him now. Alex always tells me, fight and forget after the game. I don't think I can ignore it every single time. And because of him, we are stuck with the most hot tempered person in Firebrands for Youth Wave Challenge. Hopefully Sherwynd can settle him. Or better yet, both Kesslers can do it.

Thanks for reading.

I came across a friend, once an enemy. We were talking about how life is and what it is all about and I realize, life is too short to be taken easily, at first. I mean, I don't ignore stuff, I take everything into details. As we were talking, I realized that. Weird cause I've been talking one to one a lot of times, favourite topic, life. And to my shock, life is all about what if and let me intro the newest addition, what the heck. It's after that camp from scouting that I changed. Knowledge is powerful, that's for sure. I guess that knowledge I was bestowed with, change me totally. I used to give up too easily but when I didn't, everyone like, 'relax man, it's no biggy'. To many, I'm a joker that doesn't take life seriously which I didn't want people to see me in that. It's unavoidable but again, what the heck?

I develop my own concept of what if and think of the worst possibilities. I reason it as my strongest point cause I've been through shits. My day can be the happiest day and can turn out the worst day with just one simple problem. That's the problem, a simple thing regards of the simplest solving method but I make it more complex I guess. Lately I've been studying about self improvement and I tackle my biggest weakness, stress! I deduce to every single possibilities and to my conclusion, every stress I gain are just in the mind. To avoid that, it's simply easy but again, I made it complex.

I have a leg injury, twice, my right knee and left feet. And then I took sports. How entertaining. To self improve myself, I regard my size as part of my stress cause of the way people look at me. So I stopped sports for half a year and in 4 months, I changed totally. Everyone is calling me fat whenever they see me. So now I solve it by eating lesser, more light sports and healthier food. I don't take junk food anymore although I crave for them. But to trigger that crave, I must actually eat it first. I solve that by making myself believe that all junk food are not worth buying. Now the only problem left is the lack of sleep which I feel is one of the stress related thing that causes my stress to increase. I couldn't solve this problem since small, my mindset is sleeping is a waste of time. I couldn't sleep too long even if I want to anymore. Once my body is rested at minimal, I will automatically wake up.

Sleeping right now seems very long even for 2 hours. I can dream a whole book and 2 hours has passed. I go out at night almost too regular and no, I don't do stupid stuff. I just go out, have some supper, talk to friends, cruise around, maybe go for a couple of drinks? To me, beer is like a water, to fill some thirst and whenever I have access to beers, I just drink it in the morning or whenever. Of course I don't get drunk with it, probably immune to it. I no longer accept invitation to drink beers anymore except on occasions.

Then I notice my life is getting too dull, another part of stress. Ever since I was form 3, I have everyday occupied, IN SCHOOL. Yes, in school! I guess I'm too afraid of getting old, that's why my own birthday is just a thing to remind me of myself getting older and less fun. I guess from now on, I'm gonna take it easier for now. Maybe study more hours. Oh yeah, to all those who read for hours, the first 2 hours only count. Trust me, you are listening to a fella that only reads 30 minutes, the night before his finals. I came into another conclusion, when you don't have the heart to study, no hours can count as much as whatever you can absorb within the 3-5 hours of dedication you put cause seriously, nothing will enter, unless you memorize it! As in the first couple of hours will count and more than that, your mind will overwrites the latest knowledge and then that's when you get confuse and FORGETS both before and after the couple of hours.

Trust me, if you don't prolong it and you are not used to it, you will probably forget within a couple of days. That's why the final days of studying is as important as what you can probably study 2 weeks before, straight. But of course, don't sleep with it. This all can be done if the subjects you take are facts. DON'T DO IT ON MATHS! Maths in the other hand, needs practice and you need to get used to it. BUT, if you can understand the formulas which will be provided at the back of your paper, then yes, you can do it my way. TOO BAD FOR ME, I DON'T UNDERSTAND!