Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Great news, well for me only of course. My Hungarian friend is gonna help me by teaching me. Teaching me about girls, women generally. Lol, not a lesson to get girls but the electrical circuit of the male heart and the female heart, how it generates and works. S0mething my friend invented (or rather DISCOVERED) and for starters, he's going to teach me something called the 'balance sheet'. It's rather of a physic kinda thing, whereby what makes a girl and boy goes together. I can say their parallel-ness together which not only sees what each other are fond too but why the other side can fond to what's opposite of their agenda. Something of course that would be interesting to hear and study about.
Honestly, it's not that I don't know about it but this is totally different. I can know what a girl thinks (basically) because they are human. What I'm about to learn is, both guys and girls in a set =D
If a girl feels insecure and crying, what would you do? Honestly, hugging isn't the best option, rather to me it's suicide. Whether they will have doubt later, thinking what's wrong with you or fall in love? Those are not the chances you should take. Girls will try in their BEST logic to be secure. Let them do the thinking. We boys shouldn't disrupt that in any way. To provide is our duty, to accept is their will. Girl's tears are like nuclear bomb, a boy suddenly cried out of nowhere, people will either ignore or think what's wrong with him. Girls cry, it's either havoc or everyone will surely take concern.
I know this and a little here and there but I do mistakes. I can think of the best ways, to do it is hard. When you come to a decision, it's hard to choose. I hear about this story about a burning house and you have 2 people to save, your wife or your mother and only one can be saved. Well, the moral of this story, that's a choice you can't make. Now I tell you in reality, what if that really happens? Who would you choose? Would you prepare to face that fact? At times, my situation is something similar. I still couldn't forgive myself cause the situation I'm in is similar, very possible.
Yes, I hope by learning this, I could understand more about our nature. Take care guys =D
posted at 10:08 AM
Monday, December 28, 2009
YES! SHERLOCK HOLMES IS THE BEST! I actually admire Sherlock Holmes long before. If you like Detective Conan, you surely like this movie. Holmes uses deduction reasoning, as what I would like to call, laws of deduction. I practice such laws and I believe everyone should. Although don't have to be as good as Holmes himself.
Anyway, I went for that movie with Karthik, so long didn't see that bugger. Right after that, I head all the way to Juru, got lost for 1 hour there. How I ended up in Kepala Batas, I don't know. I finally fed up, just took my bike and fight against the road direction. I even got lost when Autocity Juru is right in front of me! I somehow took the wrong turning and head back to Penang. That's why I fought the direction. I got really really pissed.
When I reached to David's house, ate and chit chat with his KL friends. I drank 3 cans of Tiger and a bit of red wine. Didn't leave until 12am. Then it started raining on the bridge, I forgotten to bring my raincoat. When I reached around Tesco, it was raining like never before. I somehow struggle, got home save and sound. Lol.
Well, I will cut it short for now. Bye!
posted at 1:39 AM
Saturday, December 26, 2009
New Year is coming and I'm being myself again...... Well, my 'last' time punya self. Been going out like nobody's business. I fear myself...............................
Went out to Queens and yes, I'm as occupied as 'last' time. I even have a after party, 2 parties to be exact. One with my cousin and another with my friends. Luckily all at Sunset Bistro..... How I hate myself for spending nearly RM200 in a week. Not to mention New Year going to get wasted. It's been ages so I don't mind that. I fear my schedule is too tight that I might go crazy. Honestly, I take it when I'm younger but now, it's just ain't right. Last time in school, I spend the whole year, being in school. Even after school, got either sports or scouts. I only came home to sleep. I used to play lots of football and I mean lots! I retire football maybe it's not the best stress management. I prefer sleeping.
Speaking of sleeping, I dreamed about being a guardian of some sort, protecting this house. Weirdly enough, a certain 'someone' is there. He's my boss or leader and shit. I was like protecting this house of ghost or something like that. Or maybe I was checking for safety inside the house from ghost. I was protecting someone 'special'. Weird! Then I woke up by the ring of my phone, my maid last time called to wish me Merry Christmas. Still, always get interrupted by my phone. I think I will off it one day but some people need my help in case of emergency so I always have my phone on. Oh well, will see.
The good news is, I'm getting better in House of Dead 4, Queensbay people really don't know how to play. I completed the game at last!
Now I realize, I don't know whether I like being alone or not. Being alone is boring, being with someone else, gets boring at some point. A lot of my friends are scattered around, I miss them. I just wish people don't judge me, I like it that way. I get bored really easy, I wasn't like this before. Maybe I reach a certain 'standard' in life. I really need to find something that I will never get bored of. Once I get interested in something, I keep doing it and I want it more! At the end of the day, I get bored. I guess I like traveling and my work involves meeting other people. Oh well, my life sucks? Not really, I just don't want the same thing over and over again. I think my DJ friend influence me. SSDD (Same Shit Different Day). Speaking of which, don't know where he went already.
Enemies? Don't really have any. I just hate arrogant and bad ass attitudes. I hate especially people who cheats other people, get away with it, hurts them badly. I advise my juniors, don't be like them. Luckily I get some admiration of being the 'good' guy. Being with those bad ass guys, I don't see the point really. I have been there, done that, got out really quick. I prefer get liked that hated. Well, what do my readers know anything about it.
Out of 19 years, I regretted 3 years and only 3 years. First would be form 4, then 18 and 19 years old. Don't get me wrong, form 5 was the best. That's 16 years, unclaimed 3 years. I also believe people too easily, fall for their tricks too easy. I wonder why. I studied laws of deduction, I perhaps deduce their bad attitude. I'm a bully, I just can't stop teasing small (or short) people. Lol. Mature and emotional people, I can understand. Emo dressing and 'lala', no way.
Oh well, have to go to that 'after' party. See ya =D
posted at 7:52 PM
Friday, December 25, 2009
Yes, an unforgettable Christmas! I actually forgotten it was eve yesterday. So, I went to Gurney for TC2 outing and as usual, the place was packed. I watch Avatar with scouts and guides. Took a total of 30 seats in the cinema! Seriously, kids nowadays I cannot compare. Ever since we went to Gurney, there have been into restaurant, restaurant and more restaurant! Yes, 3 restaurant (Max Gourmet, some ice cream shop, A&W) before movie! Pasta mania and Chili after movie! Although the restaurant is pretty much cheap but they really waste money on food. I just ate in Max Gourmet, lousy food. After movie, I went to Chili to eat, as usual, nice!
Now, here's what I think about Avatar. The movie is seriously a disappointment to me, listening from others that it's one good movie. The movie is not progressive and yes, the show could hardly amaze me at the start so I fall asleep. The real start of the movie was okay then nothing seem to come up so I took a nap. Yeah, slightly higher taste than anyone =D Towards the end, the movie actually moved forward. Story line memang repeating, explaining what happen in the village and it drags. The war is kinda stupid seeing that they have a human under their command and their war strategy sucks. Cavalries just came attacking and dying like stepping on ants only. I would give 8/10.
After that, I went to the arcades. I was so sad and depress. There is a lot of people who are better than me in House of Dead 4. I need more training already I guess. Then I join a group of friends from my 'former' school, MBS. 7 of us went and watch Alvin and the Chipmunks 2.
About this show, I expect funny, mischief, overacting and of course cute. I got them all =D This is show is better than the prequel and yes, they didn't let me down! Only problem, the show is too short! No need to say about this show, this show is awesome. 9.8/10
When we head home, people thumbs up for us. 7 people inside a Kancil, at the multilevel carpark! They even started taking pictures. Lol.
Then towards the end, when everything is over, I thought of this short poem.
It is always lonely tonight,
Ohhh, I always hated this time around.
Whether there's people or not,
Doesn't make a difference.
I always feel that emptiness behind,
Knowing year's end,
I haven't completed that one thing.
For all I know I have lost,
I lost a year,
And I might be losing a lot more....
I'm moving forward guys, with a scar behind and memories ahead. So I can laugh or remember on the way through. I hope you guys have a great Christmas! Next year would be a big year for me, to decide something. Yes, I need to decide whether to stay in Penang or not. Because after my diploma, I feel no reason to stay in Penang anymore. You could say I can't face some facts and too stubborn still =P Once my degree is completed, I'm thinking of running to Singapore or something. I guess I need to see new people already. May be painful but I should have done it a long time ago when I first had the chance. Again, I was too stubborn but I regretted.....
Nah, I never will regret my decisions, maybe regret some. Because I decided like this, I manage to spend a great Christmas, something I don't wish to celebrate ever since Grandpa pass away. He was indeed something to us. I usually celebrate alone, over alcohol. I asked Boo Leong for my prediction again, there was no changes. I haven't changed yet I guess...... Still that kid inside of me =(
Anyway, Merry Christmas!
posted at 8:11 AM
Monday, December 21, 2009
And so it ends, Training Camp 2 that is. From on forth, there is no more TC2. I guess the generation will not continue in Hamid Khan already since the Council pulled out of the school. Kinda sad to know this but at least we manage to train our juniors 3 years before this happens. Still, I'm proud to say that, my perspective of the 'camping' has change. Seriously, I've been to other camps before, never enjoy it like Training Camp 2 =P
Obviously my year didn't keep quiet. We kinda protest at first but understood there is no way to save it. So, being the smart rebels, we request to have camping through Rovers! And because we feel that whatever we done last time, we can do it better this time! My year was the last to have TC2 in Camp Coronation. The feeling still lingers. Story time =D
My patrol was Seagull, yes, the almighty Seagull! We are currently fighting for the title of which patrol held the trophy the most. Too bad it ends this year! Seagull was the winner for 2 years already, lost the hat trick this year to BJ school. The year before me, Seagull won and when reached my year, we didn't win Overall but at least 1 runner-up and Best Gadget. Can't expect to win the ONLY form 3 patrol during that time right? I remembered during form 2, always let the guides (Convent Light Street) bully us because we were younger than them. Then during form 3, we were given the younger guides of Convent Butterworth while patrol Pekaka took the older guides. Obviously we lost badly since the older guides were the ones that won overall last time. Yes, guides are very important.
I fall in love too that time, my first actual love. I fell ill during that raining season in camp and nearly collapse. I was unable to build gadgets and one of the guide tended me. I didn't really fall in love with her straight away, I just thank her. A really nice girl, since I was sick, she was always beside me. I fall in love after camping during one of the outings we have. She approaches me and we became friends and from there the love develops. But about a year later, I couldn't compromise since we stay too far away and we were quite distant away. We do time to time contact through webcam but I know we are not meant to be together. More and more, we both learn about each other and yeah, she's not my type and I wasn't hers. We are still friends though =D
Sadly to say is, all the time I was in love was actually because of camp! Must be the bond during camping. Oh well, girls don't really interest me now, not that I'm saying I'm gay, but I have an understanding last time and I beginning to have it again. Something that was SO me last time. I won't tell of course =D
Anyway, hopefully we can fight for another camp next year. The Council wants more reason for us and hopefully we can reason with them. Eng Wooi is good in gadgets, Harjinder has the leadership, I have the ideas and Lye Boon is great with fun stuff. Together, we 4 make one hell of a team! We only need guides to become the scouters and they shall be named as 1st Generation Scouters of Rover Owl C. Nice name right!? I also plan to request the Council for pre-installment for the camp, allowing us to saw the length of bamboos to ease and greatly speed up the process of building gadget. And for once, we are doing it like PFS, waste money. 4 of us will be going all out in budget, having and not missing a single thing at all. Luckily, all of us know how to cook and that surely will be a problem since all of us got different taste.
Lastly, my favourite drink is lemonade! This exco made me a glass of lemonade, the best! They even won modern cooking! Their dish's special was all involving lemon! Sedap!!
Anyway, take care =D
posted at 10:37 PM
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Oh God, I totally hate "Christians"..... And no, I'm not a Christian. I'm a Roman Catholic! Difference? Big difference! We Catholic pray to all our Angels, Saints, Prophets, while Christians only pray to Jesus. They feel that they shouldn't pray to the Angel that send him the message to spread the religion or Mother Mary who gave birth to Jesus. They know of them, they acknowledge them, they just to arrogant to pray to them! This Christian are really really religious and they spread like virus too. They think that they have the only religion in this world. They are like Muslim but they are worst! NO JOKE! You meet 1 of them face to face, they will seriously spread their religion upon you and don't go hallelujah on them! When people of other religion come complaining to me, they always go with the "No offense, bro" which I surely reply, "Heck, I'm not a Christian!". As if they think I'm going to crucify them or something!
Of course, come to the case that Catholic too don't like Christians example, my grandmother. My sis went once to a Christian church, my grandmother started her lecture. Christians usually don't have anyone spreading their religion like a priest so they are told to do so. Yes, I admit, Christians really know how to have fun but as one religion, to convert because of fun, is that legit? They also emphasize on reading the bible unlike Catholic. Catholic used too actually. Yes, Christian can be the all mighty and things and they conquer more than Christians just because they allow their pastors to get married. Some guy surely created Christianity because of the 'priest cannot marry' thing. And Christians are always the famous ones. You know the scary movies like the mist or many others actually (can't recall the names), the part a person will usually say everyone is doom or we need a sacrifice while holding a cross or they themselves suicide? That's Christians. Catholic are the ones pray and stay where they are scared. Yes, we don't practice suicide! Explains why I can't result anything to suicide =D
I already met dozens of Christians, always the same when comes to religion. They usually keep quiet when they know we are Catholic. Lagi they want to challenge us. Like they are thinking some sinister way to kill us or convert us =d For me, I seriously cannot acknowledge what they are doing is even logic. They are like an ass, stubborn. They must marry another Christian (just like Muslims), they would result to sacrifice or suicide if they have to (like terrorists, or you can say, like Muslims) and they use religion almost everywhere (like Muslims).
They will go church like everytime, a cannot miss thing. I go church, once awhile. Catholic usually are the ones that don't go much. Making us kinda weak. Our priest though, some a quite over the border especially this priest who insulted my whole family at my grandmother's funeral. Saying that the Kessler used to go to church every week, what happen? Think again, we were facing so much problem after my grandfather, even worst during my grandmother's time.
Anyway, it's 6.30am, I might be going out to Training Camp 2, more updates for sure!
It may be bringing the memories,
Whether pain or relaxation,
My 'heart' is gone,
Can't feel anything no more,
But when it does,
I'm back.............
posted at 6:03 AM
Friday, December 18, 2009
Today, the day was going just fine until........... I woke as usual, early. Hang around, watch some movie, read some manga, etc. About 12, I drove to Training Camp 2 since my bike had some problem and it was raining. We had a meeting, not very surprising, during the Annual General Meeting for Rover Owl C, our Rover Crew Leader, Khoo Boo Leong, pass the baton to Teh Tian Hong. Since it's become to this, the board members are renewed. Obviously we didn't get any power. Bias. Eng Wooi held the overall troop's Treasurer position since our system only wants a treasurer for all 3 troops we have. Lye Boon didn't get anything since he is studying in Sarawak. Harjinder and I became a member. The system goes like this.
Rover Crew Leader -> A. Rover Crew Leader (2) -> Unit Leader (4) -> Secretary (4) -> Treasurer (4)
Unit leader is actually like a patrol leader. A total of 4 patrols, consist of treasurer and secretary. Since we didn't get ARCL, we obviously didn't want any position lower. Not to mention that the new system has very little position than before. Eng Wooi was out of the story, it's only me and Jindhu left. We volunteer to give our rightful position as Unit Leader to others. We obviously gave the 'I'm not free' excuse again. The Unit Leader for our company (2 Unit Leader), are consist of mainly Phor Tay, a big problem with us since our communication level are different. Peggy and Li Ji got the position as Unit Leader.
So, we surely don't want secretary and treasurer since we are more worthy than that so we jokingly came out a new position, Unit Leader Advisor =D Obviously not possible. All we wanted is to become a member, even that is difficult. They always hit us with the secretary and treasurer position, which we hate doing. Thanks to this Ming Shaun who supposedly have no power anymore, both of us are treasurers now. Is that alright to get angry? We are experience, we organize so many things before and just because Ming Shaun's mouth, our words are useless? After the unit meeting, we complained to Tian Hong. While that, Ah Piow (GSM,Advisor,Founder) held another sudden meeting. We all got scolded instead. A direct hit and Ming Shaun still think he has power of Rovers. Even Boo Leong didn't interfere anymore. The moment he pass down the position, he walk straight out of the room. Not Ming Shaun, he still acts bigger than Tian Hong. After Ah Piow's meeting, Tian Hong told us that Ah Piow was actually upset of Ming Shaun and Ah Seng.
I asked why did Ah Piow scolded me and Harjinder, which Tian Hong said it was just a cover and the actual situation was meant for both of them. It was still unfair that they act to cover for him. Our reputation is the one falling here. Is he even worth saving? Making our year angry would be making at least 4 people quitting, if they want to save a person. Boo Leong promised us that he will do something about it. Seriously, the reason why all the girls (not to say bad or anything) are getting higher position when we service at least 4 years for Rover, gets nothing, while a girl just came in, get some high position. All because they got recommendation from Ming Shaun. That flirt. Also, each time he comes by, we have no say on anything at all. To impress girls, he used us like donkey just because we can't do anything to him. After dropping his position, he's still like this. Even Ah Seng, he's the leader and highest in Open Troop. And now, he wants to advance to a higher level, Rovers. He expects special treatment while we serve even before he became anything. Thank God Ah Piow scolded him.
Even the girls know this is happening, they obviously can't do anything. At least they are not so bad, they acknowledge us as better and even offer to find replacement to take the treasurer's position. Oh well....
After that, send Lye Boon home and brought a friend back to his place. He also had some road trip at SP and haven't had a transport. Went shopping with my mum, well, she did for her bakery and I did for my shoe and stationery. I bought a new calculator (lost mine) and a shoe. The shoe that I was finding for so long, found it, no bigger size! Here it is =D
So, finally! Couldn't find my size of 10 and I can now die in peace again =D Adidas =D My mum kinda dislike it and prefer me with Nike which I would say, buy a school shoe, buy marker pen...... I seriously don't like that type of shoe. Too infancy. Anyway, today is a so so day, I wish I could sleep but too bad. Will update more about Training Camp~!
posted at 8:50 PM
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Last night was a blast! It's me, Eng Wooi, Jindhu and Lye Boon, 4 scouts, being the true scouters we are. Of course with a little flavour of mischief =D
I reached at our campsite in the forest about 8.30 pm and 3 of them are already there. We started making fire and cook immediately, started off with sausages (cheese). Lye Boon and Jindhu had to go to Tesco Extra to get some stuff so I and Eng Wooi. After they came back, we cook some more and later, Eng Wooi left to the airport to fetch his family home. 3 of us started popping out a can of fresh Tiger. When Eng Wooi came back, we popped another can each. Then it's tequila time =D I teach them how to drink tequila. Eng Wooi wants it raw but seriously, I have seen a person drink tequila raw before. 2 shots each, a false rain sign came so we move the stuff in the tent. Still walking around, we popped another. We weren't at all tipsy and we have a crate to finish. Eng Wooi brought Hennesy VSOP but too bad we didn't drink that. Got tired of beer after few rounds. We even forced Boo Leong to bring Uncle Jack (JD) to TC2. Well, share la! =D
Too bad nobody got drunk so not very emotional. At least can korek some scopes if tipsy. We started playing that laser pen and seriously, it hits the clouds this time. Last time was Butterworth from Gurney Drive. I think I'm going to get one for my cousin. Now, I have a dilemma, whether to go to the vacation house in Cameroon or not. Anyway, we left the campsite about 9.30. I actually slept earlier cause it started to become boring. You know how is it la when you're bored. Woke up first, the others was complaining that I snore too loud...... Gotta fix that.....
Head to Training Camp 2, barely 20 minutes and I was sweating. Today was really burning hot. I can actually see that, Training Camp 2 is no more the same like it used to be. I guess we just ignite that feeling by doing our own campout. We promised that as long as we are alive, the 4 of us will continue to campout. I believe everyone deserves a time out, even once a year, it holds memories. Problem is, we don't like taking pictures. Sure got one of us forgotten what happen. Guess that's the thrill about it, guessing what actually happen. Lol, I used to be the joke in town, bearing the Donald Duck name. I'm actually okay with that name, used to hate it so much. Thanks to tai lor, Ah Ming Shaun! Hahaha.
Time in here, feels long, feels fast....
But time in here, isn't real, only stories to remember.....
Told by people, truth or lie, it doesn't matter......
Still, it's time to move on with life......
And that's keeping me ahead, to build more memories......
Like this...............
posted at 5:51 PM
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Before I hit the great outdoors, I would like to talk about how to earn money, using money to gain more money and it's a sure thing.
I'm actually using my minority status in such case. A bit of accounting here and there, nevertheless, simple maths. In such case, only minorities can get this account called ASB and since I'm a Eurasian, I get it. But that's only for Portugal blood Eurasians. As I know of, this 'bank' gives out a total of 8.5 interest per year. Yes, 8.5%! Probably nearly 4 times the amount even in fixed deposit. My friend taught me that even fixed deposit can make you rich but this is my way.
Imagine at lowest, you would put RM100 a month. To make it easier, 1 month's interest is 0.708%. There is a way to calculate but I estimate minimum. What I'm about to tell you is only MINIMUM cause the actual interest rate is actually higher. This money is not to be taken out at all in order for this to work. And since you are putting money still, you should expect a drop of 0.708% each month.
1st month : RM100 x 8.5 = RM8.50
2nd month : RM100 x 7.792 = RM7.792
3rd month : RM100 x 7.084 = RM7.084
4th month : RM100 x 6.376 = RM6.376
5th month : RM100 x 5.668 = RM5.668
6th month : RM100 x 4.96 = RM4.96
7th month : RM100 x 4.252 = RM4.252
8th month : RM100 x 3.544 = RM3.544
9th month : RM100 x 2.836 = RM2.836
10th month: RM100 x 2.128 = RM2.128
11th month: RM100 x 1.42 = RM1.42
12th month: RM100 x 0.708 = RM0.708
Total: Earn in interest RM55.268 <<<< Too little??
Try adding this interest, together with the amount you put (RM1200) and the following year, you put the same amount of money. Count the money from back to front basis and earn it's total interest. And then, use the same one as above if you still put up RM100 a month.
B/F = RM1255.268x 8.5= RM106.69778
12 months RM55.268
Total earn for year 2 interest is 161.96578 bringing a total inside the bank of RM2510.536
B/F = RM2510.536x 8.5= RM213.39556
12 months RM55.268
Earn about RM268.66356, end of year 2 and moving towards year 3, you did the same. RM100/month, bringing forward the total of RM3979.20.
B/F = RM3979.20 x 8.5= RM338.232
12 months RM55.268
Earning about RM393.5, end of year 3 with the amount of RM5572.7 in the bank now. See this, it's actually now total of your money that you put inside the bank is RM3600 for that 3 years. RM5572.7-RM4800= RM772.7 for 3 years, that's what you gain. Imagine putting double of that in year 1. That's RM1545.4 (estimation by double)! RM1000 a month? RM1972.7x10= RM7720.7 in 3 years! Obviously it's little. But I could be wrong cause I have to do all the maths again. Of course, the more years you count, the faster the money increases.
If you calculate the percentage of increase, I think. But what I know is, for every year, a 1.046% increase upon the money you put inside (or from the previous year that it's inside). The maximum money a person can put inside would be half a million giving you a straight interest of RM42500/year. More than an average salary per month (RM3.5k). Of course, that's the money you can put it yourself. The interest is still charged the same. Starting from next year, I'm going to put RM100 for at least 2 years. I would of course increase it every year =D
Anyway, got to go =D
posted at 5:46 PM
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sit back, enjoy and relax cause my stories are never short =d
Today, I woke up at 6.30am, ate breakfast with my mother and drove my mum to work and then fetch my friends to Air Itam. They are going to this church camp retreat in SP so I did them a favour. Distance from Tanjung Tokong to Bayan Lepas, then to Batu Lanchang, Georgetown and back home. From 7, I was mostly in the car until 9.30. Got dress for college and straight head there. Came about 30 minutes late. Because of me, the lecturer said "Why is it that all the Computer Engineering students like Kings? Come which ever time they like and even forget to bring their student badge (me)?". Lucky he said that in a joking way.
His class as usual, finish earlier and by 11.30, we can eat. Instead, we stayed behind to discuss about classes and stuff. Luckily I manage to access the wifi through my laptop, if not I couldn't advance in my game. Though it's only a short while. After lunch we headed to our next class at 1pm until 4pm. Again as usual, we didn't do anything and go back early. This 2 lecturer's are best friends (I think). I couldn't go home since I have classes still at 6pm till 9pm. I took myself to the library and tried to access the wifi but without vain. Slept like an hour and half (WELL, IT'S WORTH IT! ARSENAL!!!!) so I fell asleep when I was trying to configure my laptop. I woke up when the librarians woke me up. Class nearly started.
Now, 11 hours in college. Amazing. I head to my Godmother's apartment to relax before going home. I learn something today but maybe I will talk about it some other day. Sleepy already.
Anyway, that's all. Too short today huh? =D Bye =D
posted at 11:23 PM
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Ever had the biggest outburst ever in life? Here's my story.
Heart was pounding, body was too tired, mind was racing. Body calls it a day, heart makes sure I don't get to sleep, mind just wasn't there. My stress level increase again. This time, I don't know why. Maybe cause I have to abandon my project, GreaterHaven. Something I've done 3 years ago and if I failed, I'm not greater than myself 3 years ago. I've to admit, 3 years ago I've been my best, never can I outsmart myself. I don't even have stress that time, life's perfect. I prepared GreaterHaven to face the 'real' world. I think I know that I won't survive so I created it. I really can't recall. What I know is, when I thought of the principles of GreaterHaven, I failed a year after I created it.
Sometimes I would like to remake my life just to feel it again. But I know I can't get back that anxiety anymore. I cried after knowing that I have to dissolve GreaterHaven. I can't face myself 3 years ago and no longer I can call myself FinalDK. This long term planning was taught by people, only that I named them. I completed 2 other planning but looking at my situation right now, I went backwards even worst than the 2 former plans. I think of so many nonsense already, how did I grow so weak? I tried self-therapy, only helped me during that short period. Even tried hynopsis, didn't work though. I cannot fill space and time because I want something. Something which don't bore me. Music therapy is very effective but proven a big disadvantage in my daily routine.
I checked my status in the net, I got all the symptom of posttraumatic stress disorder, psychology trauma which causes other thing too. I thought I cured my insonmia and morning wakeness, I was so wrong. Better than before but I still wake up when the sun rises sometimes. What's with the stress? Getting all the oldies symptom. I also need to stop my vulgar habits like criticism, mocking, punching walls, etc. Anger management got better then suddenly volcano errupts. Need to learn to let go.
Aiya, going to try to get some sleep....
posted at 11:58 PM
I got a one time job from Yin Yee for a family day in PFS by Rapid Penang. Pay was okay and the job is kinda fun. Though me, Aw Yang, Lye Boon and Eng Wooi are the only ones that is station on hot sun. At least we got the title as judges in their telematch. YES, WE DETERMINE WHETHER THE ADULTS PLAY PROPERLY! Built like tones of water balloons, only to be melted in the sun and burst! Then we create more water balloons, only to lost the unused balloons to small kids. Bloody hell, we kept the balloons in the toilet and they took it! The telematch went out well except for the dodge balloon event which wasn't really fun since lack of balloons.
The last time I slept properly was on Friday afternoon till 3am Saturday morning. I slept for awhile, woke up tones of times and woke up at 6am. After work, I head straight to PFS after breakfast. Oh yeah, I got another job from my Hungarian friend. He needs me to bring his friend to places. A married woman...... Don't think nonsense. Well, you wouldn't believe this. He asked me to bring her to some places to spy on her husband. She gonna take pictures as evidence. How? Wasn't brief on that yet. Spy job =D He would pay me 50-100 for an hour and a half. Not bad what =D
Anyway, I now scared to sleep. Bloody hell, if I sleep and woke up the next day, I might fall sick or ache to death. Fatigue so high! Oh yeah, we head to PFS toilet and believe this, we weren't the only 4 inside. We could hear key sounds in the toilet back door and hear as if someone is in the toilet booth. I think we went abroad because we laugh about it and talk about it more =D
A bit drowsy already..... Got show to watch, Cyndi Wang, here I come =D
posted at 6:51 PM
Wow, I had a bad dream today. I dreamed that I was probably in campfire. Hamid Khan school's front gate. People was gathering, I don't know why but I predict they want to enter the school. Obviously we wouldn't let so they sparked and hit my friend. I remembered that I was called to the front gate and as I was running towards the game, I picked up my phone and called the police. As they hit my friend, I gave them a punch and weird thing is I feel like it was so real. Some way another, my friends didn't try to fight them off but only I stood alone in the middle of the road. I took a wooden stick, the one we used for scouting. It's heavy, weirdly enough I can swing it perfectly. I beat the crap out of them. All the sudden it was morning, I couldn't recall what happen to them except they were arrested by the cops. I messaged everyone I knew to not reveal about myself as they might be digging information from some friends. Lol, I even had a bounty for my head.
So vengeful, perhaps they are embarrasses that I alone beat them up. I can't recall that time but somehow in this dream, time really move forward, like days. I finally got caught by a trap they set. My cousins were a little too late to save me. I think I died......................... Cause I remembered I was carrying someone, who, I can't recall. Awesome. What a cool death. Too bad the dream ended when I woke up. Shit, always cannot finish up the dream =(
How I remember this dream? If it's cool, I obviously remembered. I post this up so I don't forget. Anyway, midterm practical would probably end next week. Been going to class from 10 until about 5 then go to gym. Head home quite late everyday. So far some more my house. Just now at work, I talked to a Japanese dude. I didn't know he was 33! He's hometown is Toyota City...... TOYOTA! I didn't know they have a city dedicated from Toyota!
Anyway, just made in another entry cause I'm so bored. No outstanding assignments pending. Really a headache to do assignments but I did it! Don't know correct or not also...... Hopefully more practical assignments are given. So fun to do.
Bye =D
posted at 12:48 AM
Friday, December 11, 2009
It's Friday, yes, I didn't go college today. I was too tired. I came back about 4 in the morning, 20 hours out of home. Went to the gym in BJ Club after class at 7, day 2 in gym. I have no stamina at all, even an old uncle could run 1 hour on the treadmill and me........ 15 minutes? Ate cornflakes before coming, tried to push on leg and abs, stomach cramp straight. I still got a long way to go.
I went out with a friend actually, head back to his house after shower in the club. Another friend came by and we talked till 3am. Discuss over matters and life. Talked about everything, life, happiest moments. How fragile anyone can be. How screwed up anyone can be. Especially Shaun Wong. Lol.
It's always at this time I remember stuffs. Emo betul =( Since the beginning of this year, I tried pushing and make myself occupied. SSDD (Same Shit, Different Day). I don't know how I could occupy myself during form 4, everyday there's sure something to do. Used to be a little addict to alcohol. Now, please........ I tried it, wasted myself, got back to reality. I don't understand teens nowadays which goes practically anywhere involving clubs. You can actually but everytime the same old thing? I know a lot of wasted fellas, all stop. Teens, especially small brats who thinks they can drink more than us. Lol, they are surely wrong about it. I guess the time I actually got wasted was....... Countable with your 10 fingers. Rarely goes drunk unless I was either tired of life and drank for that sake. Even birthday parties, college exams over, some festival. All in clubs. Hear until bored already. My friends would go 'HEY! NEW CLUB OPEN IN UPR! COME JOIN US!' or 'WE ARE CELEBRATING IN XXXX FOR CHRISTMAS, ETC'. No, I don't celebrate festivals in clubs, like an insult to me. I don't know why. It bores me........................
Now that holiday comes, the malls is always full. Even the adults come by like they are on holidays too! I think and I only think that when you start working, none of this really amazes you. I love traveling and eating. I don't have that interest when I was young. NO WONDER SO THIN! One of my girlfriends jokingly tried to woo me after so long didn't meet. Said I grew and got muscle =D Either I'm blind or they are. Obviously I don't fall for that =P
Gym is like an addiction already, too bad it's bad to go everyday. I want to improve everyday and with that adrenaline going by, I would be something for people. I still have a list to do before year's end. Got to learn swimming still and maybe get back to football. I want to see my friend says, 'He's back! Our best defender!' or something like that =D I suddenly have the urge to play basketball and badminton. Luckily I wasn't too sucky in sports with my friends. Obviously to others I suck. Who give the fucks anyway!?'
Right now my mind is under like a relax mode. I can feel everything. My health is getting better I guess. But I still have that casual pain on my stomach and it's becoming worst. More frequent this days.
Speaking of health, I thought of 2012. Well, my opinion, it will not happen. I believe that because I want to. I don't want to die by some disaster! My principles is always this since young, die also must have certain style and honour before dying. Death don't really scares me........ Correction, my death. Death to me is the most relax moment in your life. Where you can't feel the pain anymore, you release every urge of something, your permanent vacation. Of course that only applies if I'm dead, not my friends. I don't get it why people would go scolding to people that talks that way about death. Unless we suicide, don't scold us! If it happens, it happens homies. As of 2012, don't want it to happen. I would be having 1 more freaking year in degree and only 1 year to hold my diploma! And I don't get to use it! Some more I plan to get my Masters in Singapore. No use talking about that until the time comes. Oh Singapore, thank God you're nearby for me to travel. Masters another 2 years. Add up, 6 more years.
Oh well, keep the dreams alive!
posted at 1:41 PM
Thursday, December 10, 2009
All the sudden I got so stressed up, 19 years has pass, I achieved too little. Except for the fact that I was famous in school. Notorious? Maybe. Some people said I always walk in a gangster..... And they are weird cause I don't! I hunch, tried practicing to not hunch, failed like always.
Today, I actually heard a very bad news. Something I know will happen, don't want to accept it. I'm going to drop my status as a 39th scouter for 6 years. Not because I want to but I have no choice. No, I didn't get fired. More like relieve from my duties. A good thing but yet, to leave the very troop that practically raised me, just can't accept that. With scouting in life, life was more than perfect. All the tense up stress, release in the world by our training. I meet a lot of people there, learn to love things with what there are. If I haven't join scouts, I would have probably broken all the 11 rules of scouting. I used to bully animals when I was a kid, I learn to love them now. Computer geek turn to the outdoors???
Scouting was my life. I can still imagine how we as a student, just because we were scouters, we are the top attraction in school. Usually when people look at us, yes, they know we are scouters. We used to occupy our own tables during recess, get our own class for private meetings, all there is to it. Then when we became the youngest ever committee members, we were at our best. Our common sense and reasoning skills are on the top, teacher and prefect fear us. That's why they usually hit us one by one. Even our parents gave complain to the school if we don't have enough scouts activity. Those were definitely the time. I forgot to save that if we go out of scouts, many of the other scouts would address us as 39th Georgetown South rather than Hamid Khan. We got a bad habit of saying "We're from 39th" when asked what is our scouter group from.
We were also Rovers of the first batch in Rover Owl C. Youngest too. Our organization requires a mind of 18 years old but we entered at 17! Though our training wasn't as tough as what our senior have, my year committee is usually the first or youngest for something. So dedicated to scouting that most of us didn't have a girlfriend until we were 17 (relieve from committee duty) because we want to fight for troop leader. I guess that is bad for us since our whole life is dedicated to scouting never learn to enjoy the modern life that much. Our group is always the one up to mischief, goofing around, try to create something new. Each one of us also took courses to polish our organization. That's the fun of it. I got well respected during one of my lecture in leadership training by my Group Scout Master. Those were definitely the time.
Now is the time to pass on I guess. To let go what we once are. I swear that without scouting, I can imagine only the worst. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a scouter, only to the new-born organization of my former glory. But it's really something I should move ahead, so I can improve myself. Again, 19 years and I still think it's not enough. I have achieved since form 1 during a scouter of 39th GTS:
I gain a lot of weight and learn to eat a lot of things
I became taller until I couldn't be called short anymore
I became buffer, you should see my young pictures
Smarter and more common sense this time =D
I couldn't get even a little dirty last time, more like a self body cleanliness
I learn to cheat the good way and how I can without hurting anyone
(no joke and lies to look good)
The fastest monkey crawler and tree climber in school (go monkey, run!)
I learn Karate, training in scouts was to hard so need to learn Karate =d
To fight for rights and become a leader than a follower
Have dark skin tone due to sun, signifies activity under hot sun =D
Learn to love
As bad as I shouldn't admit, when I'm angry, nothing worries me at all. If I didn't took that training in form 3, I could have become something worst. I was that heartless ungrateful guy, unheard in form 2. I like to fight, I love to see other people fight. That was me in form 2. The people I mix, seriously are fucked right now. All those gangsterism and shit. I could have joined them seriously if it weren't for scouting. My parents were more heartless that time and I was free to do whatever I wanted. And I chose scouting. Isn't that weird? That time, I was clueless, I could even give out reasons why everyone should be bad. Now, not at all.
Gangsterism, I hate them now. Time to time, that devil of me would come out, went insane last time. This devil still have friends to back up him still (maybe just a little bit). My 'protection' can be called only if I'm in trouble, not causing trouble. If you asked me, I seriously cannot remember my childhood. I nearly have no memories left. DEAD SERIOUS. At least right now I got feelings and I cool down rather than last time. No brains la that time. I can do bad and not regret at all. Memang regret to have done anything and thank you for forgetting. Even my childhood friends told me so, just a couple months back. I seriously don't believe and have not a piece of memory about it. Me followed up scouting, was the right choice. I feel that is my duty to clear of people from gangsterism. If you want it to stop, you gotta stop first. By count, I think I saved Eugene only =d
Well guys, it's over. As of next year, I declare myself fully relieve of my duty as ASM of 39th Georgetown Scouts. I hope I can one day see myself again.
There are times where going backwards ain't such a bad idea *quoted from me =P
posted at 12:44 AM
Monday, December 7, 2009
The best way to release stress is to get a friend that understands you and can agree with you. Someone you know well but don't mix too much.
I tried calling Izi yesterday but he don't want to pick up. Another cheerful guy gone. I just can't simply go to his house although his family might be expecting me. I still feel angry over 'fate'. I head out to the gym with Eng Wooi. Have a good exercise and took a really good bath. Head down to Queens and find Sophie. Went a little shopping and ate in Kenny Rogers. Wanted to eat in Kim Gary but it was too crowded. Waited Sophie for awhile to finish her work and head to PC Fair.
We somehow manage to find parking space and I head to find my RAM and that took us 2 hours to find it. Again I tried calling Izi, couldn't. We found Aw Yang and his group of friends there but split up after awhile. Still couldn't find my RAM that time. After I found and bought it, we head to HammerBay for dinner. Was suppose to go for supper some more but Jindhu couldn't make it. I head home after sending Sophie. Sophie shown me the beautiful newly built temple, too bad I forgotten to take a picture of it. Oh yeah, on the way back to Eng Wooi's house, we were talking about a junior that hit a dog while ridding on a motorbike and it really happen to me when I was going home. Well, nearly.
At the end of today, I'm more relieve but when I got home, I felt, that today was another day wasted. I guess I don't get sick too often but I always get emotional. My therapist told me I have to learn to control or understand. Sometimes when I get too stress, I would pull my hair. This world, I thought I'm prepared but I'm far from being prepared. I once thought that, 'Hey, I'm more than prepared to face the real world than others'. Well, I actually really am but loses touch to adapt to differences and changes. The real world changes, yes, when you say you're ahead, you are. But if you keep on the same pace, you're going backwards.
Bye
posted at 12:41 AM
Sunday, December 6, 2009
And now I dedicate this blog open once again. Keep in mind if you're here to judge, get lost. My feelings is wrote in words, emotionally even I can't take it in voice. If you can't take it, please exit. I don't want sympathy and I know a few friends know about this blog. Please don't talk about itand keep it to youurself. I didn't mention anybody name but one so don't judge. Know to self before you read this, I put everyone I know in this post. To tell you this one sorrow on 5 December 2009. My feelings of mix emotion to be shared and remind me. I privatize this blog once because it was too emotional and it's my diary that I can never lose but I want this post, especially this post to be shared
To add more sorrow to my life, let me tell this story of mine.
One day I came back and felt something amiss. I had a feeling and as usual, I stood to care the wrong thing. I have more problem in my love life and it got worst. Something I would not like to discuss here. Just within hours I was so tense, tears wasn't seen though cause I think I had enough. All this was in my mind that night. I head to work early, sat down on the computer and start my work. The thing is, I was hoping that by working I could forget about it even for a second, that would be great. I lost 2 people in my life that night, virtually. After finishing the paperwork, I tried to get some sleep. It takes awhile to sleep but eventually I did. I woke up before work ends and checked facebook. As I browse through, my friend posted up a message that caught my attention. My bestie, Izi, he's dad passed away. Probably the night I was grieving over 2 people I lost when in fact, I really lost a person in life.
Izi's dad, I knew him for a very long time. A cheerful guy and knowledgeable. Though he always failed to wake up Izi for school most of the time. What I meant to say is, all this time I was stress over some love that I shouldn't been when my friend's dad passes away!? I always make this mistake to care over something I shouldn't at the wrong time. There you have it, I tried crying and I did. Even a little, it's good enough. I was even sad that I didn't know about it and cannot see him for the last time. For once I succeed crying at times like this. I was probably the last person to know about this. I feel so messed up..... My hands shake over love? Ask yourself what happen when you lost 3 people last year? Ask yourself Don! Who am I to blame?? And why God has treat me like that? Because I don't believe in you!? You gave us the brains and the minds for what? For us to create nuclear bombs and war? Have you now!?
Why do you keep killing me in the way that I don't die and live to grieve over sympathy? Why has it been that you didn't put in coma or something? Why do you have to remind me everytime? It's always something I lost more than I gain! Have you thought that it's more painful everytime I gain something, you take something else away?? Do you want me to be that guy I was before?? The heartless person I was?? Whatever it is, I was the person who don't think when I was young. I didn't have the care in the world! Is it what you want?? All because I go church everytime?? You took away all I have that time!! You took away my grandfather! My grandmother! All that is dear in the most painful way! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you want from me?? I believe in you, I acknowledge you but I don't worship you anymore cause you haven't been kind to me at all! And you have the fun taking away people suddenly too. You even took away my comic artist! What the hell man?? I have a new bike that I'm so proud to have, you tried to take away twice! You got me out of work! By stressing my manager and myself! You let me waste a year and shower my stupid father with debts! Then when I think that everything is okay, you take life of people I know! This is bull, this is bull!!!!!!! Is it you who plan for me to worry so much?? Worrying the wrong thing!?
Tell me or show me a clear sign on who to blame! I can't express my words and feelings in audio so you just have to read it! Is it me? Then take me away! Who the fuck cares about a life?? I won't take it away because it doesn't belong to me! You just have to come and take it for yourself you piece of shit! Push me to the edge like you always did! Make sure I go this time! MAKE SURE OF THAT! What the hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????
I don't deserve this crap and bull......... I'm tired of repeating my life..... I really have enough..... Can't you see that..... 19 years and I felt more than that...... You make so many life's perfect that people can choose to die the way they want........ Why my family...... Why my friends...... Why the people I know........ You lead many people in my life now........... Stop doing this to me, no more.......... You have to take the nicest of people, the strongest of all time, just to hurt me........
Izi's dad, he was so healthy, driving his Vios,Altis and Avanza. Suddenly enters the hospital. I even remember those words before he enters ICU..... Izi was joking to his dad, "Tu la, smoke lagi di dalam toilet" and the dad replied, "Stylo". Even at pain, he's dad could still joke. Izi wasn't being naughty or anything, it's just the way this two communicate. Right after awhile, he enters ICU in front of my face. That was the last time I saw him.
Mark my words God, you took away all the good people of all times too soon. My Chinese grandfather who saved me when I was a kid in a monsoon drain that I fell and took care of me since I was so young. Uncle Valentine, a joker of my life. My grandfather, an all time sportsman who even at the old age, can compete in tourneys. My aunt who I never gotten to know. My Chinese grandmother who takes care of me when I was young, taught me to speak Hokkien and Mandarin. My grandmother, who took care of me, teaches me the very religion I have now and a good soul as a Catholic. My friend who was bad and changed he's act and never had the chance to prove more. My another friend who want to come clean, never had much chance. And lastly, Izi's dad, who I can respect very much and have been very kind with me, and belanja me to watch one of my all time movie, Transformers.
Yes God, you did this. Even if you didn't, you never tried to save them either.
posted at 7:43 AM
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Suddenly I feel that I should admit something.
During my young times, I always had a dream, that is to be like my uncle. The life of his bachelorhood, really amazes me. I always wanted to be like him, a computer genius. That's why by the time I even when kindergarden, I knew about computers. I picked up pretty fast for a young kid. Then as time goes by, my dream grew even more but I realize that I'm not knowledgeable enough and discover there are many things to it. I tried learning more up until now, I couldn't catch up like before. I guess the world went way ahead of me.
During my teenage years before form 4, I wasn't much concern about my studies cause I can do it. I don't really need to study to understand but form 3 was a bigger impact for me. I realize I was lacking behind but then, I was too egotistic and thought that studying isn't the only thing that will bring me far. I seriously thought that. During form 3 was my biggest mistake whereby I chose Accounts Stream because my friend and Add Maths was too hard. Because of that fear, I join my friends.
Back then, I always admire my friends which are from the lower class and want to at least cope with them. By cope I meant, loitering, trouble, etc. At form 4, I really did become like them. But let me make this clear, by meaning of trouble, I didn't meant hurting anyone. It's more like an honour in school than trouble. I went up against a teacher for being bias because he got sacked as a scout advisor by us. He complained behind my committee of a school project we were doing (a hut and a path way) in front of me and my whole class. It was so funny and I remembered the words. I was up against Mr Teoh, the so called philosophy adviser which thought he is always giving the right advise.
=Beyond this point which is in red are boring story, you might want to skip=
Teoh: Listen and look at this, can't they do their project after school hours?
*I got triggered*
Me: Yeah right, who is going to finish the project??? You think we never stayed back after school??
Teoh: I meant that there is some better time to do it.
Me: This is surely the best time seeing that the teachers don't teach at this time.
Teoh: Who are you to answer me back, judging by your character.
Me: What character!?
Teoh: You don't even do your homework and don't pass up your work.
Me: What!?? ENGLISH!? I pass up always on time even when all you do is write a title and ask us to do our work. All you do is talk and no teaching. Ask yourself..... NO, ASK THE OTHERS WHETHER YOU GOT GIVE ANY HOMEWORK OR NOT!?
Teoh: How about your PJ folio??
Me: What!? (PJ folio?? Do we form 5 need to do it???)
I could only thought of those unsaid words before my friend stopped me from bursting out. News somehow spread to the teacher's lounge and became a headline for awhile. A few teacher actually came to me and agreed that certain teachers are indeed bias. Only that if I had a outstanding record could I defeat him. I had a record of running out from school, loitering up on the 3rd unused floor, running away from the whole group of prefects that abuses their power. During that time, Harjinder and I weren't in good terms and I and Eugene were in the toilet. Harjinder and 2 other people (1 busybody and 1 prefect). They noticed that Eugene brought his handphone and tried to feel his pocket. Obviously Eugene didn't like the treatment and pushes them away. They grab hold of him and tried to pin him down. Eugene escaped and passes me the handphone. I took it and ran, tried to hide the phone with my friend which apparently betrayed me too. I got caught and my discipline teacher said my friend is a little crazy which I scolded my teacher, "How dare you called your student crazy!".
That's why I hated the prefects so much that I got blacklisted by them. If you ever know this guy, Shaun Wong, yeah, he's the head prefect of Hamid Khan. He's board got voted the best but I don't think so. I got caught for loitering and Shaun Wong tried to bully me with my mistakes. I told you they abuse power. They try to 'settle by their own' and their mistake was settling with me. After that day, no prefect had the power to settle by their own because I hit 4 members of their board flat though I lost to the discipline teacher. I respect him so I don't have reason to defend myself. I got off with a warning under 'influence by friends'. Shaun Wong is a prick, he change his story to the teachers about me and after a few years, my discipline found out the truth and apologies to me. I was apparently caught cycling in school grounds after school which is allowed. He told the teacher during school time. He even bend the rule so many times, got screwed in scouting also. Careful of this prick, want to know more, find me. He tried to fight me and I ignore him cause I can find more people that hate him. Even he's best friend is my sister's ex and he supports me :P
Anyway, during this time I was more than enjoying life. Then after SPM, I decided to take that principles out for a test. The without studies can success thing. I got a job with Eugene. The job really took a lot from me. I don't have time to spend for my family and I grew apart from everyone. I didn't want to study and I got an offer to be a DJ. That was my dream that time, a DJ. Then it was time to choose, studies or work. I chose studies and never regretted that choice. I let go of DJ because I fall in love and that love make me realize that, I don't want my kids to think of their dad that works at night everyday. I don't even have time for myself, what more for my family. All the time I want to be single, I suddenly want to get a family. I too realize, what happen to that dream of being an engineer? I get college because of financial problems. I guess I was to blame. I spend too much of both my parent's and my own money. It was too late already.
I took the offer of going to form 6 without knowing what is form 6. Let me explain, form 6 is like a SPM where you need to get scholarship which also means, excellent in all 4 subjects. Something impossible for me because I was weak in Accounting (I took in form 6) and there is no reference book for form 6 syllabus. I dropped out a year later and my parents was stable again. I pursue my long dream again and I didn't regret. Now I meet my uncle which is married, having a even better life than when he was single. Yes, I did the right choice. I'm still trying to cope with college though. PSDC is impossible, their standards really headache. You have to open book every single day cause the next day surely got question. But that's what I need to do.
I'm going to take my degree right after diploma and I still wondering whether to do it out of Penang or locally. Masters I will hold on depending on my parents. They are retiring very soon and sometimes I feel lucky I'm not the oldest son.............. BUT WHY THE ONLY SON!? Damn.....
Anyway, thanks for listening =D
posted at 9:52 PM