Monday, November 30, 2009
Everywhere I go,
It reminds me of you,
The sea, the mountains,
The city, the workplace,
As long as I close my eyes,
I picture only you.
But no matter what I do,
No matter what I felt,
I want that anxiety to linger around me,
That feeling like no other,
Because it's gone, I lost that touch,
That warmth, cozy hug,
I need, to start my day.
All I say is true,
Believe it or not,
I will prove it to you,
That I need you more than you think,
I lead a better life with you,
No matter how good is my life,
A gap of you, remains.
Will remind myself of my mistakes,
Will try harder for myself,
Will try harder for you,
Until that day comes,
Feel free to come with me,
Together we conquer the Earth,
posted at 10:22 PM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Now I have more time to update this 'diary' of mine. My new colleague is weird, totally weird. He is a middle age man who plays game. Bought a PSP and PS2 to play and when he do, he play like a small kid! Annoying too sometimes. Looks like I'm the most 'senior' in night shift so I was kinda evil to him for annoying me. He talks too much! Well, not that evil la, just let him do my work since he is suppose to do my work. My work is actually like a supervisor, I just see their progress but I got so bored that I actually started doing their work. But to this guy............... Let's keep it that his work IS his work =D
Now, I'm confuse. Whether to get my bike fixed or buy a PSP cause I seriously don't know what to do. PSP was never my plan until all my close friends want to get it for Monster Hunter! I started to like the game just recently but I fear that I will get bored of it easily. Damn, I need more money! I actually got bored of my N97......... Right now my number has changed to post paid cause I'm financially able again. Once my academy's shut down or semester break, I'm so going to work like hell! Heck, I worked for a month for my N97! Save like hell to get it only to get bored of it a month or two.............
Now even the online browser games are getting bored. No improvement in any of the game due to busy. Also, I might be taking music class next year. Gonna hit the guitars again and when I complete, I'll go for drums. All involving money. As for my study loan, I decided not to have it and purposely lack of information. Cause diploma is kinda little so I rather save the loan for my degree.
I need:
RM500 for my bike (dear sayang needs a new bodykit!)
RM800 for PSP (Monster Hunter!)
RM300 for my gym (for 3 months then RM100 for each month)*
RM120 for my music classes (monthly)*
RM80 for my phone bills (I expect more actually monthly)
RM500 for this watch (I need a watch cause N97 so hard to take out from pocket!)
RM300 for laptop (Dell Aspiron 6400 needs a new storage!)
RM2000 for a camera (I don't really need this though so not counted but it's a thought)
*Getting it after all the others is completed
Wow, a whooping of RM2600! That's 6 months of part time, 2 1/2 month of full time! Not sure whether dad will pay for my laptop's storage. Hopefully Christmas can get any of the above. Cousin willing to sponsor for gym but I insist. My bike's bodykit should be less than RM500 but it's an estimation (RM250-350).
Anyway, oh well...... Adios =D
posted at 1:23 AM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Heck next week, I NEED TO POST THIS TODAY! I went for class as usual, lab practical. Did super awesome today! My friends actually need my help and approval =D I knew everything =D
Lab was easy today, it was always hard but I think I got all the principles at place...... FINALLY! I know can be the top cause the top would always be Ah Seng (course-mate) but at least in the middle? My 'geng' is actually the best when it comes to computer. Of course we suck dearly when formulas kicks in. What really bothers me is, what to do for my final year project on 2011? My uncle is actually going to teach me a DEGREE LEVEL PROJECT. But then I think, maybe I will take it. If I do, I need to start next year. December coming soon and tomorrow is probably the last midterm test. Yeah, we don't know when our midterm. Our lecturer can simply place it any day which is alright cause at least they tell you. If we can't make it, we can actually 're-schedule'. And no, it's not a quiz. IT'S MIDTERM! Flexible. PSDC is a great place to study cause you can actually simply re-schedule for other group's classes in condition you don't clash with your current ones.
Oh yeah, I rechecked my schedule and I find out that this week, I'm at all time busy. Only this week though. Next week onwards, Monday, Tuesday and Friday would still be extremely busy. Wednesday no class, Thursday should be able to go home at noon. Oh well.... Anyway, I found just created a phrase on my own.
"It's a surprise that people who can love a person so much haven't knew that that person is always there no matter what. That person is in your heart where you put him/her"
And it's so random that I suddenly thought of donating blood again. Weird..... Anyway, adios =D
posted at 10:39 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Finally, have time t0 spare. Class was really taking out on me. Always home at around evening and finally, a lot of exams is over! Got around 32/41 on midterm for my test for Electronics Tech. and even the practical me and my partner did well! We are 2 people while all are at least 4 people and we finished the fastest. Still, too bad we suck in formula that we took longer than expected. I also couldn't believe myself. Having this been done in practice for a lot of times, somehow we manage to complete this in 1 hour! Usually we took a straight of 2 but we were all pumped up!
One more thing, lecturer in my academy is the hardest to find! Especially my Electronic Tech's lecturer, PC Ooi. Usually he will be in his office right after lunch but he didn't. Before I waited for him, I completed my quiz practice (which is an headache!) and passed up to Mr Koay. As usual, couldn't find him (cause he's usually out 'dating' with the other lecturer during lunch) so I left the quiz on his table. When I got out, I saw him with another lecturer. As suspected. Then my friend called me and asked me to inform PC Ooi that he couldn't make it for practical test and ask me to get an alternative from him. Walked to the office, none. Then met Miss Sathi that asked me about whether I'm going to photostat her reference book or not. Which I don't think is worth anything since no class tomorrow and the test is on Thursday. Anyway, I thought maybe PC Ooi has class so I tried finding at all the labs (a total of 12?), none. Went to the front desk, cannot trace. Then finally gave up and asked Mr Koay for assistant.
Donovan: Sir! Do you know where PC Ooi?
Koay: Ermmmm... Not at his table..... Don't know....
D: But sir, I need to find him. You know where I can find him? (Cause I know they can connect through their database from the office)
K: Easy, you go to the 3rd floor, find. If don't have, you go to the 4th floor, find. Don't have, go 5th floor, find. Don't have some more, I don't know.....
D: Sir arrr... I check already la.... None... How if he no class??
K: Then I don't know.
D: *Sigh
K: Aiya, wait la.... I check........ Wait arrrr..... Wait arrrr..... Wait arrrrr.... 3516
D: Thanks sir
Went there, just to find that Mr Koay bluff me. It was the highest floor and the last room..... EMPTY! When I went back, I saw PC Ooi. I straight away stare at Mr Koay who replied "Nah, there he is! Don't blame me arr??"...... Bugger. Then I called for PC Ooi and he kinda like replied "Why me?".... Maybe he's English is bad or something but he's English is perfect! Or maybe I misheard but if he really did ask me that, it's like I'm going to kill him or something.... Well, I walked every single part of the academy...... MORE LIKE I RAN! PC Ooi! You're the hardest to find! I need to hack to the sound system or something next time.....
Anyway, college is fun and I find another new target in life. I guess my life is getting better this year thanks to that certain person who told me so. So different than last year. Anyway, adios amigo! See you again next week maybe =d
posted at 7:58 PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I did it, finally did it. I overslept twice, even when I slept at 10pm yesterday. Came so late for lecture, luckily the lecturer is in her best mood today. Now I discovered something and finally gave up, people cannot take me seriously.
I don't get it, I really don't. People my generation cannot take me seriously, that's why I prefer older adults. Their ways of seriousness, even childishness is at it's different level. And that's what stresses me. Also another dilemma, I'm hardly at home. I go for classes nearly everyday and come home at around 5. Not to mention I need internet for my gaming. We are going to war very soon.
I have only my Wednesday off, to do whatever I want but Kartik has came back so I have to accompany him. Sunday isn't really an off day for me since I will be dead drop by then. I got so stressed up with my young sister for talking too much yesterday too. I scold her for acting bigger than me and disrespecting me. When she tried to answer me back, that was the last you can ever hear from her. And this always leads me to a fight with my mum or dad, which they will never win. They know I'm right, they just don't want me fighting. I still hold grudges on my family. If I gotten a chance to leave, I would and never come home. I love my mum, never the others. My hatred on the others is probably too much that it overcome my love sometimes.
My older sister is useless. She cares about herself. She act big when she's a dumb person. She's so blur case, lazy and like to dominate. When some of her friends hangs out with me, she will surely interfere. Asking why this and that. What the hell? I even pity her boyfriend right now. Then my younger sister, useless like the former. Worst actually, she wants to quit school. Then each time she do something wrong, my older sister will come finding me saying I didn't take care of her and all. She's been in Perlis for 3 years now, up and down. How would she know whether I failed or I just didn't care? Dad is still same, better at least. Still, I can't stand both my sisters. I just wish I'm alone sometimes. Maybe an older brother or something.
College and home is so far apart but I'm starting to understand the 'staying in the countryside' idea. Anyway, thanks for reading.
Bye =d
posted at 12:08 AM
Friday, November 20, 2009
I had a dream today, well, I don't usually remember so I like to post this one to remind myself. It's just a short dream before I woke up in the middle of the night. My dreams are self-reflecting because when I dream, I don't dream in my point of view. It's like a drama series =D
Anyway, I dreamt I was in my former school, Hamid Khan. To be more precise, in the cafeteria, side corner, using someone's laptop to play some strategy game. I don't know who's but it ain't mine. Then came a friend, humming. And I was very sure that the situation is like my Training Camp. Anyway, my friend came humming but I was ignoring it. It's like that's my friend's laptop!? After that, my friend ask something which I pretty much can't recall. But that's the end of the dream. Because it was so dark still, I woke up and checked my phone. 2 miss calls, 1 message. Guess what? I miss Training Camp and I'm invited to become the Assistant Scout Master for the day again this year!
See you all there guys =D
posted at 5:55 AM
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Wow, my boss is so kind!? I usually go to work, straight do the cashier's report and head to the computer. Not for work, on MSN and Facebook. Beside me, my boss, minding his own business. Then he always like to bully me last time but always when he heard that something happen and I have to work alone, he stayed longer. He even did the posting for me and go do some of my work! Last week he wanted to send me for hotel training but I couldn't. He even offered to bring me to France! Then sometimes when I'm alone, he would go out and find cigarettes for me. When he heard that I'm stopping, he straight ask me to play tennis with him! Yesterday, he asked me when I'm free and can work. He wants to put more working days so I can earn more =D Dah la he paying me more than the rest =d
Yesterday was kinda boring alone but Nelson came. He offered cigarettes but I decline! Obviously I was forced to at least drink the beer. He gave me another advice,
"Always think positive. Whatever happens, think positive. Best bet, ask yourself, who motivates you the most in life. Whenever you are going to think negative, think of that one person. It helps. It's good you are trying to stop smoking but always give yourself a break once in a blue moon. And when you do smoke, I want you to smoke as much as you want for the day and stop. Now that's self-confidence. Remember, always think positive"
Then he told me I'm very young, still not yet fit as an adult. I can't say anything cause my knowledge in an adult is very little. I still close my eyes everyday, think what I should do. I told myself last time that I must not be a full adult as I won't get to enjoy and see the beauty of the world. See where this got me, if I didn't venture out, I just work and study my whole life, where would I be right now? I could be on the top right now, maybe. But I know for sure I will be that skinny little guy that everyone used to know. I don't want that anymore and I'm proud to say that I know Penang quite well. I used to get lost in any turning I make, not anymore. I know where the place fit for my appetite, I know a lot of non-important landmarks. Still, in the end of the day, is it worth knowing all this?
Let me recall my days of smoking. I started when I was working. I had to attend both camping and work during the mid-December 2006. It was so stressful and my friend one day took out a cigarette and smoke during our break. I asked for one, coughed and never had any after that. It was a Malboro and that's my bike's seat logo now. Then after a few months, I tried again, I pretty much waste my cigarettes away. More people came teaching me until I become a real smoker. During that time, it was still very minor. Until I began working in Carmen Club & Bistro. Most stressful work ever. More cigarettes was pumped and even more when I became a bartender. Then last year, I had a very bad luck and I turn cigarettes into a regular thing. I could smoke any amount of cigarettes without getting dizzy at all. Then after doing that for awhile, a lot of people found out about this. Including my parents who failed to stop me. But at last, my uncle being my motivation, began telling me about life. I got very sick just recently and I began to suspect that cigarette is the cause of it. I finally took my last cigarette and just decided to stop. I hope this well.
Bye =D
posted at 4:52 PM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Something I must post =D Today is the day where my interview started on my Electronic Technology. PC Ooi, the most fierce and evil lecturer of all time..... Well, not really, it's just his style of scaring and teaching us. I was suppose to study for quiz but I had late nights the day before so I slept for a bit before last starts. Tried every thing I can to do his assignment but without vain. Then the moment his class starts, he said he wanted to start with interview first. Being the most cheeky and naughty in the class (Yeah, because of that I became the favourite and everyone knows my name), PC Ooi calls out my name.
I sat down in front of him, very scared.... Wonder what he will ask and to my surprise, it wasn't really that bad. I could easily get like 2-3 marks but gotten more than 5! PC Ooi is so generous and in a good mood today that he trust us and never checked our assignments! What a waste of time.......... Then he called me Mr Don and laughed during my interview! That's a first! It's either I'm lucky, he like me or he's in a good mood. Any way is fine!
Still, I wasn't at my very good mood after that because it's so freaking hot and suddenly it rains like it never before. Couldn't go home but at least I manage to confirm my bike's parts has arrived!
Again, think positive guys. On Wednesday there will be a presentation and I'm very sure I will be picked as the first since I'm ............. (read up and guess). Plus I'm the group representative and I'm sure my lecturer will ask me to 'represent' again!
Anyway, I had a great day overall and I know it will be better =D Bye guys =D
posted at 10:53 PM
Monday, November 9, 2009
It's been awhile and oh God, something is really wrong. Let me explain what I've been doing this few weeks.
I've shifted to Mt. Eskine, yeah, no more staying in Bukit Gelugor anymore. For the best actually. Hey, I will be enjoying life if I weren't so sick. Right now, no internet for the time being until the connection is establish. Staying all by myself right now, had to cook myself although I'm not complaining. I'm good in cooking according to my taste =D I wish Chloe is here though....
I went to the doctor, had a really bad random pain near the liver. Took a blood test, results nothing. Took a urine test, results nothing. All to prove me that I'm not sick. But the thing is, I think I'm. I'm indeed scared cause what worst than knowing that you're sick is knowing that you're sick and nothing can prove it! I had really bad appetite and constantly tired. Not to mention having such a bad appetite, I still go to toilet like 5 times a day. To my shock, my hands were shaking and sometimes I typed wrongly on the keyboard. What is happening to me I wonder...... I too got dizzy and vomited a lot of times...... Damn.....
Aside from that, my group assignment for Malaysian Studies is about to start, due date next year. Great news is, we encountered the book for our topic, the whole topic! It's in BM and best part is, only our topic was in our library! I went to the state library and failed to find any books about our topic but our books was found in our very own library! Thank God I chose the topic because this topic came out in General Knowledge for Form 6 so I picked it. Thank you God.
Oh yeah, after that 'incident' in my uncle's house, I'm beginning to believe in spirits so I've been going to church. That isn't only the reason actually. Right now, I guess I'm the only one in my Kessler family to go to a Roman Catholic church, our origin. Suddenly I felt that I should surpass and hold my family name. I'm the 3rd oldest in the family (excluding the ones in Australia), 1st being my cousin who I believe is no more part of the family and 2nd being my older sister who will not be holding the family's name. I'm thinking of taking my God mother's position in the Eurasian society and the Veteran Society. I miss you Grandpa!
Let's talk about my new place. It's much more smaller but it's luckily luxury. There is a HD Flat Panel TV, a small TV in my room, every room has air-condition, mostly all new things, small but better equipped kitchen. Near to Gurney, a famous western food stall (which I still don't know which) and my room has the sun shining first thing in the morning. I too was wondering, why people like air-con so I guess I should give it a try. Body couldn't take it at first (had flu) but I guess it's okay. Only bad thing I have is, it takes time to enter or go out of the house because of the locks and lift.
Another good news, I'm going to have my bike repaired, finally manage to find the parts in Alor Setar.
Conclusion, I may have the most screw up health right now but I believe in positive. I'm doing alright, my family has no more finance problem anymore. I guess they are as rich as like last time. More generous this time especially mum who always gave me money for western food =D Still, I'm more than good aside from financially. My parents actually did a plan which we will never enter financial problem anymore. One of the plan, no more credit card and investment! Should have done that a long time ago.... And also another great news, I might be going to Cameron Highlands, our summer home there. I also hinted my mum to bring me to Singapore =D
Anyway, I got to go, nice being able to express this feeling, no where to turn to sometimes. =D Bye
posted at 8:38 PM