Monday, June 30, 2008
So, I woke up it was 7, waited till 11 just to figure out there's nothing to do. I got a lot of friends but I don't hear them, what's another day all alone.
Well, cut the crap. Just as I said, I woke up at 7 and played computer. Sunday morning, really nothing to do. There was nothing to play since my friend took back his Fifa '08 for awhile. Damn boring. At around 12, I called Eugene and we head to Gurney. This is what I call true spender. Eugene paid everything for me including my petrol expense. We head to Gurney.
Round 1, The Incredible Hulk. Don't worry, no spoilers. Lazy want to describe also. I rate this movie, 8/10. We head to Chopper Board for a bite. 30 minutes after the last show, round 2, Wanted. Seriously, such creativity and plot, I rate this show a 10/10. It's been long I rated a good show Transformers. We head to Pastamania. I don't know why people say it's not nice but the food there is not bad. A 7/10 (I have high taste of food so that's very high). Next, the final finale, Get Smart, a 8/10 rating. 3 movies, 2 restaurant food. What else can you ask? I really had a great time and thanks to Eugene for the treat.
Well, 3 rounds of movie really made us exhausted and even the final of UEFA Cup doesn't bother me. It's sad to see that Lehmann came out to early. Only a split second to early but I was rooting for Spain! Fabregas, a splendid work! Torres, awesome tactic to outrun the last defender from the back and a good credit for far post header which nearly entered. Ballack, sorry you head that bald guy (Seddan).
Baby, sorry I can't contact you yesterday. If only you came a little late and I may meet you. Love ya! Muahxxx!
And readers, don't bother me. Anyway, that's all for now, till next time, this is Donovan reporting and crapping about his life.
posted at 8:27 PM
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Well, kinda got bored of blogging but don't wish to let down my fellow readers. So, what have I done the past few weeks?
Let's start with Rover's Camp. A disaster. Won't talk much about it but seriously, I'm becoming a noobie after 2 freaking years not doing gadgets. Hell with it. Only got Patrol Leader position. Pity huh? Even interviewed for Science & Maths club. Not getting any high post for it I guess.
School subject is getting interesting but harder. Have to cope up with my studies soon. The sooner I start, the better. Just pray that I will focus better in the library.
Here's the picture I took from today's cross run.
Well, that wraps up everything. Till then, this is Donovan writing. Take care ya all :)
posted at 8:20 PM
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Dear readers, this is my definition of over-limit headache that I can not tolerate. Which is, the starting of the school. Entering form 6, is like, entering form 1 again. Everything is hell new, the people are all new, not to mention no support from anywhere or whatsoever. Well, that's that. The part where I really hate is, 'hello, please pay this, please pay that, please buy this or not, this thing must buy'. Now you tell me, who can not go bankrupt!!?
I must go to a training camp when everyone else accept me and a few had be to a actual camp before? The camp will be having 28 people or more! The freaking organizers are Rovers for God-sake. They don't even have knowledge and the their best person uses the 'state standards' which is totally out from the syllabus. They suck big time! Then I had to make myself like at home, find a suitable club. Science & Maths club since it sucks and have very few people. Just wanna get a position for marks. Then I join a another inactive club which I thought is active. The chess game. Heard there is 15 members only. I wonder how they went MSSPP before. Hmmmm.
What, I must pay a file when I already have one? I already spend on my uniforms. Now I have to buy a scout uniform (my old one small already), a scout t-shirt, their school's tracks and house t-shirt. Waste of money. Then I have to buy a lot of text books still. And I don't know what to buy. In my class, there is, class fund, Photostat payment (don't let me start with this), class 'keceriaan' shit, a library card and a motorbike sticker that cost RM15! This is really a fraud.
Oh well,
posted at 2:35 PM
Friday, June 6, 2008
I realized everything when it's too late. Thinking that I have no options when I'm angry. Not knowing the solutions when it's right in front of me. I take things for granted, knowing that it will bring bad feedbacks to me. Each time I close my eyes, my mind went blank. I make lots of mistakes from time to time, and never bother solving it only after it was too late. I tried to do miracles to become reality, only to be destroyed by my own very hands. People tells me that I won't be able to save my life even when my life depends on it. I guess I'm dependent, more like I'm useless. I do what I think is right, knowing it's wrong in this world. Sometimes I wish I can just leave the world as it is, after making it in chaos. I drove myself of the cliff, knowing there is one. What am I thinking?
I find answers only when I'm sober. That feeling will never help me nor others. I tried many ways to prevent rather than curing, not knowing that the solutions are curing. What have I learn in my years? Prevention are not a solution. Prevention is a ignorance. Curing is fixing. What should I choose? I always wanted to lead myself, only to find that I can't. Scratching my head will not find an answer, where else I have no questions to begin with. Without a question, how can I find answers? My mind cannot think of any questions anymore. I spoiled myself too much. What can I do?
I began to take my time, finding questions. Will it be too late when I finally find the right solution? Those quote, ' It's never too late', are all bull. My life is depending on that hour glass. I nearly lost one quarter of my life, when I already have half of them gone. I cannot stand the fact that I'm losing. I'm in a dead end right now, I have no knowledge of this at all. I began not caring anymore when I'm angry. Ever since I fought so hard for them and got stab on the back when I'm used. This is not what I meant about you. You're different. I still can't stand the fact that I was selfish enough to not care about you. Don't give me an answer nor help me. I deserve no chance at all but I think I want to struggle some more. I want to solve this 'riddle' myself.
For that, I want time. No, I need time. I will be direct to you now. I can't change who I am but I can change for you. I know I have ruin myself. I broke the promises I made myself. I broke your promises. I decided to stay away for a couple of days. Let things cool down in your side. Don't forgive me right now. Let time choose the time to do that. I blame only myself. My eyes are indeed half open. I have a quest to do right now. Till that's accomplished, hopefully everything will be for the best. Indeed there is many things you don't know about me. I still can't prevent you from knowing the truth. I can't believe it went until here, even my past didn't haunt me. I want to pray so hard that I wish that the past will remain the past.
This is what I have decided. I will stay away, a vacation, for this few days. Get to know the world and where I'm standing a little more. By doing this, when it's done, I will come back to you the same, yet not the same. Hopefully, better. That's for all,
Yours truly,
posted at 8:42 PM
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Sometimes I felt,
There is much I could do.
The fact that it hits me always,
Yet I have nothing to say.
Sometimes I feel,
Like taking a huge step backwards.
Thinking of going back,
To the time where it used to be.
Sometimes I knew,
It isn't easy do do anything.
I feel so useless,
Such things that I can never accept.
Sometimes I know,
My heart beats normally.
Even if that happens,
I'm always nervous.
Frighten of the past,
That haunts me.
Scared of the future,
That's killing me.
I wish I could just let it all go,
But it will just be a pity.
To say yes,
Isn't always the answer.
To say no,
Is still not right.
No matter what I chose,
No matter what I did,
I received the same,
I did the worst.
For who I am,
I'm not what I'm.
For what I seek,
Is not what I want.
For how it happen,
Aren't the right way.
What else I could do,
Except to blame myself.
I know myself too well,
Till I hate myself more.
posted at 3:21 AM